Inconceivable Burger

After months and months of hype I decided to try an Impossible Burger. Prior to this I had tried an Impossible Whopper even though I have never liked Whoppers to begin with and could only stomach one messy bite, but there was this trendy burger place I had driven by every day on the way to and from work with high Urban Spoon ratings. Lots of young hipsters inside. Nice converted garage grungy decor with thick wooden slabs for tables. You could get a burger custom made, selecting from a wide variety of toppings. The bespectacled guy didn’t even flinch when I ordered a Garden of Eating Impossible Burger…. with cheddar cheese and BACON. The bacon was just what it needed. I would not have conceived of this myself, left to my own imagination and I can’t say that I recall the exact vegetarian ingredients on their fancy Impossible Burger, so this is how the Inconceivable Burger recipe was born.

Ingredients

• 2 Impossible burger patties

• 2 Soft hamburger rolls, seeded

• 6 slices of thick cut bacon (3 per burger)

• 1 beefsteak tomato

• Lettuce pray (be your own judge of the type of lettuce… iceberg is fine, you will be shredding it)

• 1 fairly large shallot

• 1 TBSP butter

• 1 tsp garlic paste (or 2 finely chopped cloves of garlic)

• 4 Vlassic hamburger dill pickles (larger than normal circles)

• 2 slices sharp cheddar cheese (I recommend Tillamook)

• Good quality Texas BBQ sauce

• (Optional) condiments of choice to be used by each diner (e.g. spicy mayo, thousand island dressing, three hundred and forty five island dressing, fancy ketchup, …)

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 350°.

2. Line a baking sheet with foil and arrange the amount of bacon you need to cook on the sheet.

3. Bake the bacon, turning once with tongs for even crispiness. After about 8 minutes, start watching the bacon closely. Cooking times may vary, depending on how crispy you like your bacon. For this recipe I suggest NOT making the bacon as crispy as you normally would. The bacon grease has to offset the Impossible Burger’s lack of animal fat.

4. Remove bacon from the sheet and place on a plate and don’t use a paper towel under it because we want to use that grease. Turn off the oven (we’re done using it).

5. Heat a (preferably cast iron) skillet on medium high with a small amount of olive oil while continuing with the steps.

6. Slice the shallots as thinly as you can using a very sharp knife and then toss in skillet with butter and garlic paste. Increase heat as necessary to brown the thin strands of shallot. Remove from pan and place on a paper towel when done.

7. Cook Impossible Burger patties according to the package directions, topping with the cheddar cheese towards the end to melt it some.

8. Place burgers on bottom buns.

9. For the next layers, top with Texas BBQ sauce, thick sliced tomato, browned shallots, 2 slices of bacon each, shredded lettuce, and finally the hamburger dill pickles.

10. Crown your creation with that soft top bun.

11. Plate and enjoy with adult beverage.